Welcome!
Appreciated your backstory there. Certainly sounded relatable, in the way that i too, would see RP in each game i played. In high school i'd RP in chat rooms, then out of high school moved onto VtM and started my venture into being a Game Master and providing a place for others who loved to RP to indulge.
i also understand the frustration in not being able to find others to (RP) play with. You just gotta stick with it! (As you have!) and it eventually pays off. (or i keep telling myself that. Delusional or determined... people have varying opinions of me, i'm sure.)
i have learned that 'like-minded people' were/are very, very hard to find. Sure there are other role-players out there, however, rarely to the degree myself and anyone in this guild want to take it. So when you start to find one of your people, HANG ON TIGHT! It's like seeing a shooting star.
Turns out my dear Dubs was replying just as i started, so i will edit my post a bit to mesh more with theirs.
First part, choose a race. This may be easier for some, than others. Say, in RL, if you're more of a Furry (no judgement here, ever) you'd likely lean toward a Khajiit or perhaps Argonian. (Not furry, but still beastial.
) Regardless, once you choose a race that appeals to you and the lines of where you'd like to RP, you can learn more about them by simply making a trial character and playing in the zone, learning about their people as you quest. This will show you how they live, give an idea of their beliefs, how they tend to talk etc. Also, google the race, and read about them that way as well. That will give you a basic idea of things.
Should also consider what role you enjoy playing. Tank, Healer, or DPS. In ESO, roles can be pretty fluid, and you can usually be any role, depending on how you choose to plonk your points and sway your gear. Some races are better at each role however, than others. So, something else to consider. Our guild does currently have a dedicated tank, but don't let that stop you from deciding to play one, if that is what you like! As i said, roles can be pretty fluid and flexible.
DO check out the board
Creating a Character. It has posts exactly related to what you will need, and related to what Dubs has said. (Like
Character Concept,
Nature/Demeanors) etc.
When choosing a character's concept, you can model them after a character you like on TV, or in a movie or book. Check out
12 Archetypal Characters to get some inspiration. Or, you can create a character similar to yourself, if you like, just take create care not to confuse
The Line, while playing them.
There is NO RUSH. Take your time thinking all this out. We will be here to help you along the way if you get stuck. DO ask as many questions as you need to. Your questions may also help to aid others that may be also wanting to start a journey into RP like you. Very well said. In fact, it's the characters that start out as 'larger than life', with no discernible flaws and such, that come across as meta gamer characters, or even characters that are better off as NPCs.
You want a character that is relatable to others. With Merits AND
FLAWS.
When i first came to ESO, all the classes (and game itself) were new to me. (i came from World of Warcraft). i had a character i wanted to play, that was only half the battle. i then had to find a suitable class that worked with/for her. i went through three or four classes, before i finally settled on one... And then after that, i was free to change her as needed (through glorious RP) into the best version of herself.
You need to not only find what class works best for your character, but what works best for YOU, to play.
i also chose to have my characters as ignorant to the world around them as i was. We all learned/are learning, about Tamriel together.
It will all come together. Please don't feel it has to come together ALL at once. It can't... and it simply won't.
We are here for you, though! So, buckle up, and let's begin this journey, eh?